I think I may be crazier than I thought. Yeah, I really do.
What was I really thinking when I decided to become a therapist. No, I'm not one yet, still going to college. But what gives me the right to do to people what I need? Family found out what I was going for, and what I want to become, and started asking "are you sure you aren't mistaking everybody telling you that YOU need a therapist?" I used to make jokes about a therapist hiring a therapist for themselves, but how can I be like that?
I don't have a therapist. I used to have a counselor when I was younger (fifteen. The year I lost my mother and contemplated suicide.) I remember sitting there with the knife in the corner when nobody was home, really thinking about it, but the thought of leaving my dad, brother, and grandfather changed my mind. That's actually the year I figured out if people were going to do it, commit suicide, they'd do it and not talk about it. The act to which you speak, you never do. I may be young, I really am, I'm only 22. But I have realized a lot of things through life. Mostly about relationships because I watch and learn from my friends. I do love you guys though.
But seriously; how can a crazy person help another crazy person? I am barely holding on to the sane part of myself. Barely. Thought about suicide at 15 through 17. Had my first emotional break down when I was 21. First panic attack when I was 22. Everyday it's hard. Harder than the last. But I'm doing it. And to be able to help someone who might be in the same position as me, would make me so happy. I just want to help.
But how much good can a person like me do for another person just like me?
Love until later.