Kathy is happy.

Kathy is thirty-four. Been married since graduation from high school. By twenty she already had two children so college was out of her vocabulary. At least for her, any way.

Richard is Kathy's husband. Richard is two years older than she. As soon as he saw that gawky freshman walk into his biology class on frog dissection day on accident, and faint. He knew that is who he'd marry.

After two years of college for him, the night of her high school graduation he said the one thing 'most' girls want to hear. "Will you marry me?" Being eighteen, weird, and not as cute as most girls she figured she'd never be asked again. So of course she said yes.

Kathy dreamed, though. She dreamed of going to college as a married woman and getting a degree in law. Become a lawyer and be happy. Kathy, at eighteen, did not want children. Nineteen rolled around and found out she was pregnant. Kathy, at nineteen and pregnant, still did not want children. Children just didn't fit into the dream she has planned. Marriage, though, didn't even really fit in that well.

Kathy was happy with the idea she had. Graduate high school, go to college, get a degree, become a lawyer, buy a big house with a fireplace, meet the man of her dreams, and live happily ever after. But when does that actually happen?

I met Kathy at my job. Never did I realize when I first met her that she wasn't as happy as she came across. She smiled when she pushed that door open that morning and very cheerily said "good morning". Smile. Smile. Wink. After a few minutes of shopping, of course I work in a store, she came up to pay her way out.

Still smiling.
"How are you doing this morning?"
"Eh. It's rainy. It always seems to make me tired." Beep. Beep. Bag.
"Yeah. I might actually agree with you. It was so hard to get out of bed this morning." She smiled.
I laugh. "I had no choice."
She puts the last few things up on the counter. "You could always marry a rich man, have a million kids, and be a stay-at-home mom."
Beep. Beep. Bag. "Can I have that dream but without the children?"
We both laugh. (I was serious.)
"I didn't think I wanted it either. But sometimes it's nice." She smirked.
"Sometimes?" I raise an eyebrow.
She shakes her head and looks down at the floor. "Yeah. Sometimes."

Kathy comes in all the time. Only on days I work. We became friends after a while. This last time she came in she was in tears. I was worried.

"You don't look that happy." I have always been Miss Obvious.
She wipes her eyes. "I just cannot do this anymore."
I put a chair by her and motion toward it. "Do what?"
She takes a tissue from me. "Live a lie."
"Lie?" -pause- "How so?"
She takes a deep breath. "I love my husband. Please remember that. But I want more. I want so much more."
"Like?"
She chuckled. "A job?"
"So get one?"
Shakes her head. "What can a full time mother of two possibly do in this world when she has no college education?"
"Quite a lot, actually." I lean against the counter.
"Other than fast food." She raises an eye brow.
"Are you good with computers? Can you count money? Can you sing?" I smile.
"I suck with computers. Last one I ran blew up. Literally. I'm decent with money, I suppose. And I sing better when I'm muted." She laughs.
I laugh.
"I want a job."
"Go apply at a bank. They hire people to count money and run the front counter if you have a high school diploma."
She looked up. "I don't need a degree?"
"To count money? No."

I worried about her for a while after that. It's one of those, "she hasn't been in here in quite a while and I worry way too much". That's just me. So after a month and a half when she finally came in to buy a bottle of diet coke, I wanted news. I wanted to hear she applied for a job and got it. I wanted to hear she was happy. I wanted to hear everything that would make me smile.

But life don't work out like that.

"I applied at four different banks."
"And?" I looked at her cross-eyed.
Sigh. "One called me back to thank me for applying. But at this time they will not need my help."
"Maybe they just hired someone and didn't need someone else?" I looked hopeful.
"No. They didn't want me because I need weekends off."
Confused look. "I thought banks were closed on weekends?"
"Most are. This one isn't. They need help for weekends." Shrug.
"That's stupid."
"They said if I'd work weekends they'd let me have the job. But I want a job while my children are in school. That way I'm not at home all day eating cookies and reading depressing love stories that I wish I still had." She chuckled. "That I wish I ever had."
"Love stories don't exist anymore."
"Love stories never did." She sat down in the chair.
"Although, I wish they did. But since they don't. I like being single." I smile.
She smiles. "Is there anything in the world you'd rather do than this?"
I lean against the counter. "Than being a cashier at a stupid cheap store with smelly people that cannot seem to read?"
"Yes." She laughs.
"Yes." It was a simple answer.
"Like what?" She takes a drink of her soda.
"It depends on when you mean. When I was still in school? Or after I had dropped out."
"Did your dream change?" She crossed her legs.
"Yes." (I have always liked easy answers.)
"Okay. When you were still in school, what did you want to do when you grew up?"
I laugh at the phrase when you grew up. "When I was still in school I wanted to be a lawyer. I thought since I loved to argue. It would be perfect."
"After you dropped out?"
I took a deep breath. "I realized how much I enjoy writing. So after I had dropped out I decided I wanted to be a writer."
"What stopped you?" She uncrossed, and crossed her legs again the other way.
"Education?" I raise up and lean against the register.
"You don't seem ignorant to me." She smiled.
I laugh. "Education now days isn't the same as what it was. That piece of paper you're given after graduation tells the world rather you're intelligent or ignorant. Well, since I don't have it. I'm automatically ignorant. Just how the world turns, I suppose."
"That's retarded." She shakes her head. "Why don't you attempt to do it any way?"
I squint my eyes at her. "What? Write?"
She smiles. "Yeah! Put together a bunch of writing clips from you and take it to places. The worse thing they can say is that they suck and you are stupid, right?"
"I don't actually think I want to hear that, though." I smile.
"I have decided to follow my dream." She smiles.
"Which is?"
"I'm going to go to college." She smiles.

Kathy did go to college. Sadly her choice to go to college ended her marriage and the children picked to go with their father. He made more money, why would they choose her? She seems a lot happier now. Which makes me happy. No, it makes me giddy. I'm always excited to hear that someone has finally gotten to the point in their life they have always wanted. She does see her children though. They just want the finer things in life, and sadly, Kathy just hasn't gotten there yet.

After she graduates she'll have a degree in law. Which surprised me. She didn't seem like the type. She still comes in my store often. Usually to buy something for lunch to take to school. She moved back in with her mother. More to help take care of her, but she's content. She misses the life of marriage at times when she realizes she's alone. Loneliness can take over a person. But she vowed to never be like that.

I, on the other hand, still work as a petty cashier. I don't think I'll ever go with my dreams of writing. Maybe just as a petty blogger but nothing more than that. I guess I am just not the type that likes rejection enough. And I know, like most people out there, if I attempted, I'd fail. I write all the time. Yes, I'd love to do it for a living. I eat writing. I sleep writing. I dream of writing. But until I either get a degree in writing, or figure out the loop hole through all of that. I'm stuck to writing for the fun of it.

Love until later.