Your mom said what?!

A mother walks up her stairs and goes to her teenage sons room.

Mom: I wasn't going to have this conversation... ever. But I have decided if I don't I will never be able to move on. So I need to do this.

Her son looks at her funny..

Son: Okay?
Mom: Meet me in the kitchen in like five-ish minutes, okay?

He squints his eyes..

Son: Okay?

Five minutes goes by and he slowly goes down stairs into the kitchen to find his mother there smoking a cigarette. He looks at her funny, 'when did she start smoking?' He asked himself then sat down.

Mom: I'm just going to do this as quick as I can. But still hopefully you can see that.. well, you know what.. I am just going to say it.

He sat still; confused.

Mom: When I got the news I was pregnant I was horrified. I didn't want it. I didn't want you. Your father was a bastard and left once I told him. I hated you. I hated the thought of having a kid to raise I didn't even want to raise myself. I was sixteen.

'Okay, this has to get better.' He thought to himself. 'Right?'

Mom: After talking to my mom about giving you to her after you were born I decided to go ahead and have you. Then of course my mom died. Thanks for nothing woman!!!

'Please get better', he thought to himself.

Mom: Any way, to make a long story short. I had you, even after I attempted to get rid of you. Many different ways, I might add. I had you, raised you. And now you're old enough to do whatever.

He sat frozen. She puts out her cigarette.

Mom: Drop out of school. Get a job. Get married. Have kids. Whatever. I don't care anymore. Sixteen is an adult in a lot of places.

She shrugs.

Mom: Because I'm done.

She gets up and grabs a bag. Looks back at him.

Mom: I'm going to Arizona. Don't bother coming after me.

She nods her head, opens the door and leaves. He is completely stunned. So stunned that he cannot move.

'What now?', he thinks.

What age does a kid have to be before it's appropriate to leave them to take care of themselves?

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Comment by AnGella on July 11, 2009 at 11:42pm: Only Excuses.

Comment by Krymsen Tears on July 11, 2009 at 11:21pm: Ohhh. That I have no insight on. I don't think I'll ever understand. Only a mother can. I can only say "oh, well maybe she has a reason?" Yeah! Right! There is no reason behind that. Heh.

Comment by AnGella on July 11, 2009 at 3:02am: I know, it will come. The part I was saying I don't understand is how her mother can be that way. Thanks. :D

Comment by Krymsen Tears on July 11, 2009 at 2:42am: Flute Muse: Your mother seems like an intelligent woman. :)

Sometimes what a person has just isn't enough until they are older, Angella. Since my mother passed away I kept thinking I needed more. That I needed her. Yes, life would be easier with her, but after the last few years I have realized that I have what I need in my life. A caring dad. A way too over protective older brother, but I know means no harm but could let up a little. She'll realize what she needs in her life is right in front of her and will thank you and her dad for being there.

:)

Comment by AnGella on July 10, 2009 at 11:36pm: Yea, I feel bad for the one down the hall whose mother has for all intents and purposes abandoned her. The fact that her father and I are here for her is not always enough. I don't get it either.

Comment by Flute Muse on July 10, 2009 at 11:17pm: Well, very thought provoking and insightful story. I didn't realize how angry it made me until I just now re-read my response. LOL

I'm often sad for the kids in your tale. I often pause for thought when I see someone who is obviously struggling with life and wonder about their childhood. The old homeless guy living near the railroad tracks behind my boyfriend's old apartment springs to mind. His name is Oscar. He wears a long white beard and I often see him walking to the recycle plant with a bag or two of cans that he's collected. Although I have never spoken to him, I have exchanged glances and shared a few smiles that were met with a gentle head nod. One that said, "I carry a world of burden, thanks for the kind thoughts.." He has been offered assistance numerous times from different areas in the community, and he might take them up on a warm meal on a cold night, but he refuses anything else. Why, I wonder? Is it a matter of pride? Or did a conversation like that happen to him? Maybe he was jilted so bad by foul parenting that he never learned that anything is possible if you try.

"Aim for the stars. You might not reach them, but you'll soar higher than had you never tried at all."
That's something i remember my mom telling me.
Thanks mom. : )

Comment by Krymsen Tears on July 10, 2009 at 9:57pm: Wow. When I wrote this I had a friend of mine in mind. Her mother was barely there for her throughout life, and to this day she barely talks to her. it got worse after her father left them both for someone else and then got shot IN FRONT of my friend by his girlfriend.

I guess I just often wondered if that conversation HAD actually happened how a child might take it. In this case, the boy in my story took it confusing. He didn't understand why. Which my friend doesn't understand why her siblings are perfect and she's not. Why she's the one her mother chooses to hate.

Yes, my friend is a druggie and drunk. Sleeps with any and every guy she possibly can trying to find acceptance. I think part of the downfall is that point of the child trying to find acceptance through other people.

I agree that there isn't an age where the mother or father, for that matter, can just leave. Say I'm done and never look back. I am going on 22 this year and when I have something important going on in my life, or even just getting my hair cut, I always run it by my dad. Just to make sure I'm not making a mistake. I'll always depend on my dad until the day I'm not able to. I'll never understand why a parent can just abandon their child. The person they gave birth to.

Thank you all for your comments. I really like the feed back. :)

Oh, just because this wasn't written about anybody in particular, I have had kids through my life get abandoned by their family. Parents. Grandparents. Brothers. Sisters. Where all they have left is themselves. It's horrible to watch. Because I cannot imaigne how it hurts. How it feels.

I lost my mother to heart surgery when I was fifteen. I can barely handle that. Let alone had my mother actually just sat me down and said "I'm tired of being your mother".. Then left.

Comment by AnGella on July 10, 2009 at 3:25pm: Wow Sara, I didn't think of it that way. I was just thinking of the age without the circumstances. I concur. Thanks for the excellent insight.

Comment by Diamond on July 10, 2009 at 2:51pm: wow this was a terrible story and i agree with flute muse. i don't think there is an age...let's face it we'll be well in our 40's and still wonder what would mom/dad do? we would still turn to them assuming they are still a part of our lives. no child should have to deal with not having their parent around but unfortunately it happens....but if you have the opportunity to be in your child's life which is a very important role on your part and you walk away from it without a single care in the world...you never deserved to be a parent.

Comment by Flute Muse on July 10, 2009 at 2:19pm: First of all, Wow. Seriously? What a horrific story.
If this seriously happened, that woman needs to take several dozen lashes on the ass with a thorny branch for making a complete mockery of motherhood. Way to go Lady. I hope that you die alone and that the rest of your family tree and future generations are able to cope with the shoddy rotten end that they've been dealt. One word. Adoption.

Second of all, it is a legal question. Can a 16 year old sign a lease for an apartment? Or sign for their own workers permit, even? How are they supposed to get a job if they don't even have the legal papers allowing them to do so? There are ramifications to abandonment, and that is exactly what this is. One can become an emancipated minor, but not without cost. Financial and emotional.

Finally, Age and maturity are two totally different things. Kids can be 16, but they could be 16 going on 12 mentally. I'm assuming, that the 16 year old in this case was forced to be independent from an early age. Not a bad thing. I encourage my own children to practice independence. But I'm also assuming, based on the mom's conversation with the boy, that this child has also suffered emotional neglect and the lack of encouragement that kids desperately need to keep believing in themselves. Someone to hand out the figurative gold stars and offer a kind smile when they do good positive things that nurture the soul and keep us striving to do more and to do it better the next time. I really find it hard to believe that a child left in this sort of situation would be able to survive and grow be a fully productive member of society with out help from a number of different sources, most importantly a good therapist. Or else, more likely than not, this kid will become lost in a maze of drug and alcohol abuse in a feeble attempt to wash out the memory of that fateful conversation.

When I was 6 years old, my mom divorced my dad. Who in turn disappeared off the face of the earth.
Really. He did. That was until we were contacted and notified of his death almost two years ago.
To this day, I struggle with my own abandonment and trust issues. Kids should be able to count on their parents, and rely on them, and trust that they will always be there for them until death severs the tie that binds. I guess because I have been on the receiving end of abandonment, I took this post to heart.

If there is really a kid out there that you know, who was the subject of this awful story, please find a way to get them help.